To Dream Feed or Not to Dream Feed?

by Halie Powell from Sleep Wise Consulting

What is a dream feed?

Let me paint you a picture. You get your baby ready for bed and put her to sleep for the night. She has been asleep for a few hours, and you are prepared to go to bed now too. You sneak into the room where your baby is sleeping, pick her up, and quietly feed her. Once you are finished feeding her, you lay her back down in her sleep space. You do this all while trying to keep her asleep. This is known as a dream feed because your baby didn't naturally wake up hungry.

Many parents love the idea of a dream feed because it means that their baby won't wake up hungry and will therefore sleep for longer.

But does doing a dream feed feel like a dream in the long run? Every baby is different, and some babies don't respond well to a dream feed, especially when you're looking at long-term sleep goals. If dream feeding is not working for you and you feel stuck in a cycle, this article is for you!

Why dream feeds are not encouraged:

Although, in theory, it may sound like your baby may be getting longer stretches of sleep if you implement a dream feed, in the grand scheme of things, you likely won't have all the success you want to see.

One of the biggest kickers is that a dream feed interrupts your baby's best stretch of overnight sleep, which happens at the beginning of the night. We are designed to get the best sleep at that time. If we interrupt that sleep, we don't allow our baby to reap all the great benefits of that restorative sleep. It can make it harder for babies to consolidate their overnight sleep because we interfere with their sleep patterns. It's better to let your baby's sleep patterns develop naturally.

Dream feeds also perpetuate a feed-to-sleep association. This phenomenon is also known as a sleep prop. It is also how one night feed becomes two night feeds, and two night feeds become three night feeds, and eventually, you are getting up all night to feed. You want your baby to fall asleep the same way every time, so that should they wake at an undesirable time, they know precisely how to put themselves back to sleep, and it's not confusing for them. They aren't looking around like, "Hey sleep prop (aka dream feed), where are you? I need you to help me get back to sleep."

Once your baby is ready to drop night feeds entirely (when they meet the age and weight requirements and your pediatrician has given the blessing to stop overnight feeds), you may find that they always wake up at 10 pm, for example, because they are used to waking up for a dream feed. Now you have to work on breaking that habit.

So what's the alternative?

Allow your baby to wake naturally for feeding!

Tips for natural night feedings:

During night feeds, ask yourself, "Is my baby eating for comfort or calories?" This can help assess if they are truly hungry. Does this seem like a habit feed or a hunger feed? If your baby is wide awake and takes a full feed, that's great! We don't want your baby to be hungry, so keep that feed. But if your baby is hard to keep awake or is snacking and snoozing, this is likely a comfort or habit feed.

Here are the four steps to follow for night feeds:

Step 1: Delay the night feed by changing her diaper change first. Not only are you making sure your baby is nice and clean, but you also ensure that your baby is wide awake for the feed.

Step 2: Keep the lights low. You don't want to signal that it's morning by turning on all the lights, and you also don't want it so dark that you can't see your baby. A nightlight or even light from the hallway will be perfect in helping you keep an eye on your baby while they eat.

Step 3: Keep your baby wide awake during their feed. Remember, you want your baby to eat only if they are hungry. The goal of this feed is for calories, not for comfort.

Step 4: Put your baby back into their sleep space awake and aware of their surroundings. You want your baby to go on the entire sleep journey on their own.

If you're struggling to stop dream feeding or would like to work with us on a customized sleep plan for your baby, let's do it! You and your baby both deserve good sleep!