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Taking A Shower Used To Be simple: How the new norms of motherhood mean self-care looks different.

By Jennifer Jim

Before motherhood, taking a shower was a simple act - turn on the water, step in, and emerge refreshed. Now, as a new mother, this basic self-care ritual seems like a luxury. It's astonishing how a tiny, adorable baby, weighing merely 8-10 pounds, transforms even the simplest tasks into challenges.

Showering does more than cleanse the body, it’s a key to your overall well-being. The importance is not up for debate and yet it is often something that gets pushed aside and is often a topic of concern for new moms.  It represents a broader challenge of finding time and energy for personal needs once becoming a mother. 


There's a profound connection between physical self-care and mental well-being. Research by BMC Medicine highlights this link, showing that physical health behaviors significantly impact mental health outcomes like psychological distress, vitality, and life satisfaction. Missing a shower may seem trivial, but it holds substantial importance in your self-care routine. This article aims to guide you in reclaiming this basic but essential task of taking a shower.  


Your mental well-being as a mother is critical. When you're well, your baby flourishes. New mothers often prioritize their child's needs over their own, establishing a pattern that can persist for years. Recognizing and addressing your basic needs, like showering, from the start is crucial. It not only supports your mental health but also sets a positive example for your child, emphasizing the importance of self-care, even in challenging times.


Motherhood means new norms in so many areas of life, and self-care is no different. It's essential to reevaluate the word "should" when it comes to self-care routines like showering. Adopting a flexible and less structured approach can be liberating. Clinging to pre-baby expectations can quickly lead to frustration, especially during the early weeks of motherhood.


If you're grappling with self-imposed pressures, it's time to zoom out and identify areas where flexibility can be introduced. This might involve adjusting the time of day you shower, shortening its duration, or what you do during the shower. (15-minute conditioning treatments might not happen as often..but just for now.)


Once you're comfortable with this mental shift, here are some practical strategies to meet your self-care needs more easily:


Planning Ahead: Be ready for spontaneous shower opportunities. Keep a two-in-one shampoo handy and have towels and a robe at the ready.


Self-Care Stations: Your bathroom may not be the sole spot for personal hygiene products anymore. With a newborn demanding hours of feeding and rocking, keep skincare products within reach of your feeding zone.


Asking for Help: Utilize your support system. A partner, friend, or family member can help prepare your self-care station with essentials like lotion, water, and a nail file. Clear communication about how they can assist you is beneficial for everyone involved.

Taking care of yourself during the early stages of motherhood is crucial. Remember, you're amazing and deserve to have your basic needs met. As your baby grows, things will get easier. You'll find ways to safely integrate your baby into your routine, like using a bouncer in the bathroom or setting up a play area. 

Celebrate your incredible achievement of bringing a beautiful child into the world, but don't overlook celebrating the accomplishment of self-care acts too even if they look different than pre-baby life.

So, who will you entrust with setting up your self-care station today?