Let’s Talk About Change
One thing we can be sure of is that change is the only constant in our lives. Change often creates fear, uncertainty, and insecurity about our future. However, our resistance to this change either causes us to stagnate or causes us to be battered by unforeseen circumstances. It's analogous to a surfer in the waves. You are either riding the waves or failing to act; you will be dumped by them.
Why do we resist change?
We are in a rut
We often resist change because we are in a rut of sorts. A rut is a “habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.” Interestingly, this is exactly what happens in our brains. Our brains respond to stimuli by forming a neurological pathway. This pathway is strengthened and forms new neural connections each time the stimulus is repeated. With enough conditioning, your brain becomes used to a specific response, and eventually, certain behaviors are repeated without us having to think about them. Similarly, when change is thrust upon us, we often resort to behaviors and mindsets that worked for us in the past, but that may not be appropriate for our current circumstances.
We fear change
There are many reasons why we may fear change:
Firstly it could be a sign of loss. Questions such as, “What am I being asked to give up?” may be a big concern for those facing a change in their lives.
Change can create confusion. People fear change if they don’t understand the reason for it. It can mean uncertainty and pushing people out of their comfort zones.
We may fear change because we are worried that we cannot do what people ask of us. We fear looking incompetent.
Sometimes we fear change because we see it as more work. Change takes time, and not being able to manage an increased workload could make us feel like a failure.
Lastly, we fear change because it could mean that we lose control. We all want to feel empowered and in control of our circumstances. Change can mean that we no longer feel as if we have a grip on our lives.
While change can cause incredible discomfort, it is crucial for our growth, progress, and success. Life is flexible and fluid and mostly unpredictable. Furthermore, nothing is permanent, and everything you think you know can change in an instant. While we often resist change, being open to what it can teach us opens us up to more possibilities.
Why do some people respond more positively to change?
People cope differently with change. Some react to it positively, viewing it as a new and exciting challenge, while others react negatively, becoming incapacitated and overwhelmed. According to a study conducted in 1974, surprisingly, only one in three people are resilient enough to cope with change. What separates the resilient third from everyone else is where people search for the answers to the difficulties they face. Researchers at the University of California - Irvine found that two out of three victims of terrorism, child abuse, and natural disasters instinctively look for meaning in the past. This is a natural reaction, and for decades we thought that the path to healing required finding an explanation. Interestingly, according to this research, the opposite is, in fact, true. Those that didn't wallow in the past, looking for reasons to explain their misfortune, turned out to be the most well-adjusted. Resilient people still ask themselves reflectively what the change meant, but instead of trying to make sense of what they had done to deserve the experience, they focused on what they could do now that it had occurred.
In conclusion, change is an inevitable part of life. In addition to being stuck in a rut, we often resist change because we fear what it may mean. Once you can truly embrace change and focus on what you can do now that it has occurred, you will set yourself free to experience all the creativity and possibilities life has to offer.
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+ References
- Hormann, s. (2018). Exploring Resilience: in the Face of Trauma. Humanistic Management Journal, 3, 91-104.
- Silver, R. C., & Updegraff, J. A. (2013). Searching for an Finding Meaning Following Personal and Collective Traumas. In K. D. Markman, T. Proulox, & M. J. Lindberg, The Psychology of Meaning (pp. 237-255). American Psychological Association.
- Williams, L., Rollins, L., Young, D., Fleming, L., Grealy, M., Janssen, X., . . . Flowers, P. (2021). What have we learned about positive changes experienced during COVID-19 lockdown? Evidence of the social patterning of change. Plos One.
